Actually, if there’s an option to skip this Challenge, i will skip it. But where’s the fun thing if you always skip the challenge? Will you be a coward when talk about the past for the rest of your life huh?.. XD
so, where i must start to tell about this? Hm..it will be a long story but…Here we go..
Well, there’s no doubt the separated moment with him is the worse moment in my life. I become so quiet, and like another girl who have a broken heart for a first time, my weight starting to decrease every day.. even my boss said that i looks like a drifter on the street who not take a bath for a month..*she even bought me some beautiful hair clip to make my hair look clean and tidy* and yes,, hospital is like my second home because i see the doctor more often than before, there’s many problem with digestion and segala jeroannya.. I didn’t care with my own body in that miserable time.. Even i can’t sleep properly and it makes my health getting worse and worse everymonth..but still, i’m alive..
Someday in the night when i’m on hospital because of my digestion problem, i wake up to lessen the pain of the iv needle on my hand and there…i see my lovely mother looks so tired sleep beside me,
She looks so old that night,
and many question which become my turning point suddenly pop up in my head,
“have you ever did something to make her happy?”
“Have you ever made her life more easier?”
“Your mom supposed to be in her comfort bedroom this night, but she choose to sleep here because of your sickness..why?”
“You know the answer, you know that everything she done for you is Because she loves you more than anything in this world..”
After that night,, i try to be a better person for my mom n dad. Little by little, the heartache about “the abandoned moment” start to dissapear…
I start to not focused on my own illness ( read = brokenhearted syndrome ). The precious thing that i learned from listened another people’s problem is…. you feel your problems more easier then their problem.
It sounds weird for me at the beginning but it is the best method to make you feel easy with your own problem..
I start to do everything that i’ve never do before. See what i never see , eat what i never eat, explore this and that, and Alhamdulillah, i never do something stupid like hurting my own body, or take a drugs like another stupid-broken-hearted-girl.
But again, even i try many things at that time, the emptiness in my soul still not recovered yet,
There’s many night when i fall asleep with my tears, but wake up like a ‘xena the warrior princess’ and face the day like nothing happen.
And again, someday the spiritual moment come to me in the middle of night,
After many crying at my middle-night-prayer, somehow i feel the owner of my soul and this whole world ( read : Allah swt ) was so care about me..
Allah never leave me,
Allah always stay there..
And Maybe because i feel so grateful about that, i start to using hijab,
I try to become more closer to God,
And i think this is the best choice, because after i do that, the emptiness in my soul didn’t bother me anymore.
So, what exactly that you want to said to your Ex?
Well, there so many things that i wanna said,
Thank’s a lot for everything,
thanks for help me to made my character like this ( become the independent girl ),
thanks to make me know who are my trully friend at that hardtime,
thanks to make me know your whole family,
your prettiest nephew, they all are good and your beautiful mom was the best, ( your mom’s tea time and conversation with your step father about news was the great show for me.. Wkwkwk ) and…sorry if maybe i don’t treat you better in the past,,
and last… I sincerely hope that you always have a happy life, like you want it to be,,
Well…the challenge it’s done.
now i can proudly say : Next Challenge!